Welcome to Buoy, a Life in Deeper Water podcast.

Episode 85.

I need to show I am open to helping others more (Jesus said, “Your light is a house on a hill.”)

Hello human.

Today is simple to talk about, and 10 times harder to do.

But first, it’s been a while since I prayed this scripture, mywitness99journey prayer for you.

Ephesians 1:17

17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.

 

How we give agency to God through our free will is by knowing Him better.

Recently, I had a conversation with my youngest son, about conversations and encounters we have with people. He had just done something that he felt was so small to him but was so meaningful for someone on his morning path. He had called to tell me what had happened earlier in the day.

When he had shared the experience, the kindness he had shown, he followed up with a comment that surprised me, a comment that cast some new Jesus-light on my understanding.

People Are Looking for Cues

As he reflected, he said, “I need to show I am open to helping others more. People are looking for cues.”

This was convicting for me. It also triggered thinking about light, and this scripture passage:

Matthew 5: 14-16

14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

 

I hadn’t thought about it from this perspective, or quite this way. About how we shine our light, and why Jesus said to not hide it under a bushel.

We are not following Jesus incognito.

And to my son’s conviction and affirmation, “people are looking for cues.” When people need help, it is easy to envision that their lives are dimly lit. Bad lighting on a struggling life. It’s hard to see a way to ask for help or recognize that help is standing in front of them.

And a dimly lit perspective leads to confusion, illusion, seclusion. Questioning what you see or projecting what you see can lead to isolating yourself in a small shadowy corner of a poorly lit world.

Yet, we are the light.

So how does “I am open” manifest itself in my encounters with others? One amazing way is something I learned from my spouse a few years ago.

Ask someone: “How is your day going?”

That’s a clear cue to a human. It says, “I see you, and care enough to ask this question. I have shined my light on you and see you right now, in this moment. I am listening to what you say about your day, because here we are, sharing an intersection through right now.”

Cues for Our Witness

So, I am reminded of cues, and committing them to my witness. Again. Because people are looking for them. These cues lose their cliché-ness when we move from saying them to doing them.

Here are a few cliché-busting cues to consider:

1. A smile with eye contact. When I worked in New York City I tried to get five smile-backs every day during my morning and evening commute. By this I mean get someone to return my smile. It taught me the power of lighting up my face and passing it on to someone else. Getting someone to smile gets them to turn on “the light within.” I still do this every day. When I walk into a store, I remind myself, “people first, products second.”
2. A shared lament, aka “group whine” in the moment, i.e., “I tried to avoid this line, or “isn’t it so predictable” or …. “it’s hard to get decent service” … I am not a whiner by nature, but collaborating on what irritates most humans with a little humor creates instant camaraderie. It’s a way to express openness to a conversation.
3. Some form of self-deprecation that makes me accessible like “You would think I could find what I am looking for… I have been standing here staring at toothpaste for 5 minutes…” And by the way, human, this is not all that easy for me. I have been told I am not accessible. I can tell you I just have to pull myself out of my own little world. I am just comfortable being alone, moving through my life alone… in my own mental banter.
4. A response to a kindness from someone, like when someone says “you have a nice day, honey” I let them know “that makes me feel so loved” … and respond, “you have a good day too”
5. How about a heavy-hitting cue: “Anything I can do for you? Any way I can help you today?” Get ready to help someone when you say this.
6. And, if it is obvious someone is anxious, distressed, not knowing what to do, “How can I help?” When we see this, we should take it as a cue from God to do something.

Relentless Observation of the Silent Cues

Running alongside cues we can give people, is also relentless observation of the silent cues people give us.

A practical scenario is paying attention to the grocery line, whether at a checkout or self-checkout… who needs a little financial boost (their card isn’t working, they are scrambling for payment, or they are doing such a great job of managing kids, products, in what appears to be a lean, well-stewarded life you just want to be kind and generous). God will give you the thing to say to that person that maintains their dignity and yours. It’s all for Jesus.

How about in the drive-thru, paying for someone behind you. This is super easy to do. Let the Holy Spirit prompt you.

Someone trying to park in a spot and needing a little help, or more room. Back up to accommodate their comfort zone.

Someone sitting distraught in their car, someone who is lonely and wants to chat in aisle 9. Someone who just needs an extra hand getting groceries to the car, to walk a child out, needs help walking to their car, needs help to read a label, find a product, to help re-focus a tantrum… someone who needs unsolicited help to finish a project on deadline… if only to grab them a coffee…

… do something from what you see.

Do something for someone who needs more than they asked for… one time I helped get a spicy pepper product for a lady in a wheelchair at Costco, and when she said “this is the only pepper to use when frying chicken” I spent the next 15 minutes getting her recipe. Just time being with her, hearing about her chicken-frying technique that made everything right in the world, just time hearing about the children she raised, the good times, clearly now farther apart in her older age.

I could smell that chicken. I could hear it crackle in the pan. She uplifted me. My light glowed from it.

When we walk with an open heart, we let the light in from all directions.

A Town Built on a Hill

Jesus used a very clear metaphor for what we are when we follow Him, live in Him.

We are a town built on a hill. We are full of light, and always positioned through His intent to be a beacon to others. If we live in darkness, it doesn’t matter how high we sit on that hill. His sovereignty, His power, His glory goes unnoticed.

When we shine His light, we are saying “I am open to helping you. I am open to casting my light on your space, your life, to help you see your next step. To help you solve an immediate problem. To soothe a little anxiety with my light.” Because Jesus is kind.

This thinking illuminates Romans 12:13 for me.

Romans 12:13

Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

 

When we turn the porch lights on and open the door to kindness we define spiritual hospitality.

I embrace this.

Witnessing May Not Start With Confession

Why is this important to my witness? Because witnessing does not typically start on the road of confession. It starts on the road of life, a path God has dropped you on, with someone who needs to meet someone with an open heart.

My witness, your witness, human, leads with an open heart.

Helping comes first.

Serving come first.

Loving comes first.

The “open heart” seed comes first.

This is what lights up my house on the hill.

Talking about the One who provides the light—comes after.

I am not a patient person, or maybe it’s more that I believe that if I articulate my love for Jesus and my conviction, everyone will get it. Because I love words that much. And I have plenty of opportunities to encourage others through my words. I could write all the time. I could exhort, expound, elaborate, excite, engage with words 24/7.

Yet as hard as it is to admit, it is my love, my actions that come first in my daily walk. I walk His path with humans who need my open heart every day. I just need to be present.

I said this is simple to talk about. And 10 times harder to do. It’s not about the good deeds. Jesus did it all for us. It is about the light that comes from bringing good things to others. In His name.

2 Corinthians 4:6

6 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

When we show an open heart, we show someone the face of Jesus.