Welcome to Buoy, a Life in Deeper Water podcast.

Episode 88. When You Feel Like Jumpin’ Ship (honor the struggle of God’s work in You)

Hello human.

Last year an abandoned sailboat washed onto the shores of the OBX came to my attention mainly because of an online comment. It was in the middle of a conversation about where the boat owner was. Someone commented on maritime salvage law:  “He has to stay with the boat, otherwise it’s considered abandoned and maritime salvage laws apply so anyone can take anything.”

I recently read that if a ship is found afloat with no one onboard, salvage law allows the next person to set foot on the ship to possess it, and be entitled to sell it and it’s contents (even passenger belongings), so abandoning a ship is a serious calculation. A less drastic ending could also be for the ship’s owner to compensate the sea-faring salvager. And there are laws about the process for this.

There are many seaworthy stories about sinking ships, the tragic nature of abandonment, and what it does to a person. And that’s where I jump on the BUOY today.

To think about loyalty, commitment and what God has to say about it. As easy as it would be to rejoice about God’s loyalty throughout history, with His people all the way to my little life, I am not there right now. I am talking about abandoning what we believe is a sinking ship, instead of rallying resources to ride out the storm.

Abandon an apartment. A home. A book. A following. A diet. A worn way of thinking, tattered by the trials that come with it.

Abandon a relationship. I am praying about scriptures that help me discern the areas in my life that may have high seas, but I shouldn’t be jumpin’ ship for calmer spiritual waters. I consider a few today.

And to be clear, I am not talking about leaving an abusive relationship. That is not abandonment. For that, please get counsel. I am talking about abandonment out of self-interest, convenience, impatience, weakness, lack of spiritual knowledge, lack of spiritual commitment. And so on…

Recently I had a conversation with a close friend, a sister warrior, about returning to situations, not allowing past judgements to prevail at the expense of moving forward. To permanently turn our back on, jump ship on certain circumstances, people, cultures. We were talking about finding a servant-leader place in a new church. That’s tough, and we are on different journeys, both processing how God is preparing us, guiding us to leave behind assumptions, apprehensions, illusions, and just follow His lead. I am astounded by my gratefulness for this sister. We had 50 years of life, basically without each other, to find that the ship we had shared, God had tended to for five decades, fully equipped with supplies to last our friendship into eternity. I am astounded by God’s faithfulness.

When I think about the boat metaphor, what happens to the resources we have left behind, that someone finds, and claims? Our spiritual salvage? It is not a bad idea to think about how much God invests in me. How far out to sea I am with Him, when I start thinking about turning back. Or going another direction.

Another BUOY response I had with a very good friend recently was about an adult child relationship. She had a beautiful way of giving the outcome back to God, without abandoning the relationship. And what happened? The relationship began to thrive in ways, down paths, across seas that she wouldn’t have seen. But she gave the outcome to God. I have done this too with an adult child. Because God has such a knowing way to keep the bond going, the love. The understanding is less important when you are not in charge of the outcome.

Giving the outcome to God is how we give more of ourselves to each other. The freedom Christ brings to us, is not a freedom from struggles, high emotional winds, and lost sails. It is a freedom from outcomes.

Stop thinking about where the relationship should go in the future.

Stop thinking about the home you should live in.

Stop creating the ideal neighborhood. The ideal neighbors.

Stop defining life by how well things are going. That is not God’s plan.

Because God has a path that strengthens us through uphill climbs, valleys with new lows, and on and on.

God’s plan is about bringing more people to believe in the sacrifice His Son made, because He so loved the world.

Like Father, like Son.

What Have You Abandoned, What are You Thinking About Abandoning?

What have you abandoned, human?

What are you contemplating leaving behind, because you are tired of being tossed around by it?

Think about this. And pray over these scriptures I am about to share. Because life is filled with sinking boat feelings, life is filled with anxiety about ripped heart-sails, life is filled with wicked waves that tower over us, and tough conversations that leave us drenched, depleted, and dangerously close to jumping ship. Or being thrown overboard.

Life is full of wanting to abandon the struggle. A struggle that is tethered to, grounded in, conversations, memories, love, respect, honor, collaboration, laughter, crying, caring, sharing the intimacy of human nature.

I am talking about the human cargo in every relationship.

Do not abandon that which you have invested so much in, just because you think you can’t control the outcome, you can’t envision a positive outcome, you can’t wait any longer.

Give the outcome to God. Picture that scene of abandonment. When all that was good about it, is in a pile of rubble. But you see the salvageable items. God will tell you what to start with.

What does God say about this?

What does Jesus say about this?

How does the Holy Spirit move us through this?

2 Corinthians 4:8-10

8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

Why Abandon is Not Part of God’s Vocabulary

So why is “abandon” not part of God’s vocabulary? Because everything about God is about returning to love someone more. He does. And He asks us to do it.

Romans 5:20

20 The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more,

Matthew 18:21-22

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

The Bible repeatedly emphasizes God’s faithfulness. And Jesus tells us of a seventy-seven mindset. It is so easy to draw from God the attributes that make our daily life better, richer, more meaningful because of all His gifts, His nature, His great big, beyond-comprehension faithfulness to us, and just take it all in. While THAT is so easy, our life is not meant to be a self-absorbed destination. It is meant to be an origin, a beginning, a round trip back to Him through how we show Him to others.

Remember the Good That Comes Before the Bad

And for today’s purposes, His faithfulness empowers us to not abandon the people on our ship. He put them there. To not abandon the good that has come before.

How much more divine to live in His image by returning to others again and again.

To serve their needs with His love.

That we not give up on relationships.

That we not bolt from the challenges that come from “settling in” to a space, to a home, to friendships, to trenches and life’s foxholes that have us wanting to flee from the good to get away from the bad.

God gets bad. God gets uncomfortable. God gets hard things, God gets you, human. And all the humans in your world. God’s plan is about bringing people to repentance. To making a 180 degree turn toward God.

And He is faithful.

2 Peter 3:9

9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

23 May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.

Think about the genesis of God’s story. The apple was eaten, first by Eve, then Adam. Of course God saw what they did, but He did not abandon them. He knew the story, His story must be lived. He came looking for them.

Genesis 3:9

9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

Everyone’s story begins with Adam. Because we are humanity.

Honor the Struggle of God’s Work in You

So you are on your boat, you are looking out at the horizon, thinking you can swim back. Toward shore. You are thinking about abandoning what you once invested in as good.

Don’t, human.

Honor God’s work in you. The connections, the relationships on rough seas, the circumstances that test your character.

Honor the struggle of it.

Honor God’s righteousness within it.

Sail the strongest winds in your life by His sovereignty. He will navigate.

Do not abandon that which He started. Live the story He has put you in.

This is how we witness.

Proverbs 19:21

21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart,

    but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.